I feel for Brian. I am sure I can top his weird thoughts. I am pretty sure, people would fear me if they could hear my thoughts. I loved it. This was great.
This was good. The prose was clean without being pretentious. The main character was rich and human. The plot had energy. We could've used a clearer obstacle honestly besides the internal one, and I think this felt more like the material for at least a novella if not a novel. The world is too rich with too much to explore for a short story to me. Anyways, I really enjoyed it. There were at least two laugh out loud moments!
Thank you for reading it, and thank you for the critique. You'll find no disagreements from me; focus is a weakness of mine, all of what you’ve said is actionable— thank you!
HA! What gave you the bigger laugh, if you don’t mind me asking?
Damn because i was listening and it was so well written and a well built world I could really follow it in one reading, i didn't write down that moment. It was one of the self-deprecating moments. The self-deprecation in general was really funny. New one tomorrow!!!!!!
I feel for Brian. I am sure I can top his weird thoughts. I am pretty sure, people would fear me if they could hear my thoughts. I loved it. This was great.
Thank you, I appreciate that! It was fun to write.
Hilarious!
That’s all I ever want to hear!
really enjoyed this on my train journey. going to check out more of your stuff. good work! 😎
😬
Why couldn't you send me THIS for an Autopsy?! HUH?!
Bwa ha ha! Honestly, I almost did instead of Roko's Lathe, but I'm powerless against a bit if it makes me gigle. Want it?
Always commit to the bit.
Always, always commit to the bit.
This was good. The prose was clean without being pretentious. The main character was rich and human. The plot had energy. We could've used a clearer obstacle honestly besides the internal one, and I think this felt more like the material for at least a novella if not a novel. The world is too rich with too much to explore for a short story to me. Anyways, I really enjoyed it. There were at least two laugh out loud moments!
Thank you for reading it, and thank you for the critique. You'll find no disagreements from me; focus is a weakness of mine, all of what you’ve said is actionable— thank you!
HA! What gave you the bigger laugh, if you don’t mind me asking?
Damn because i was listening and it was so well written and a well built world I could really follow it in one reading, i didn't write down that moment. It was one of the self-deprecating moments. The self-deprecation in general was really funny. New one tomorrow!!!!!!
Hell yeah, no worries!
My wife just asked if I was okay because of how hard I was quiet-laughing.
Hah! That's great, this made my night 🤣
Haha. Wow, what a brutal story. Poor Brian. If this ever did become a thing, I don't think the world would last more than a month. Great story, MP.
Thank you! I don’t know why it took me so long to see your comment…
And oh, yeah, bedlam in the streets if our thought were not our own