21 Comments
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Thaddeus Thomas's avatar

I tried to respond earlier and I think it ignored me. This is far too good to be prompt work. I love it.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Damn, thank you Thadd. I used to write on r/nosleep under a shared pen name with a partner, and dreams/paralytic sleep is something I am unfortunately educated on, so this sort of thing is natural for me.

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Zivah Avraham's avatar

I feel suffocated. That’s a compliment. I’ve often thought about trading something for a night’s sleep that’s close to either (a) refreshing, or (b) dreamless and nothingy - now I’m ignoring that temptation because of you.

I loved being dropped into the middle of the action. My mind fired off with questions until I told it to shut up and go with the flow.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Thank you! I did not think this would hit people so viscerally.

I have wanted just that my whole life, dreams a gift as much as they are a burden

Had I put this through at least a round of editing the journals might’ve made their way to the top to establish sense of person/place, but this is how my mind went through it.

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Zivah Avraham's avatar

I think the light editing you did - typos etc - was just right. Sometimes the rawness gets edited out, to the detriment of the story’s impact. And that would have been a shame for this piece.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

That’s fair— sometimes raw hits, I sometimes forget this (or I could be more confident in my writing).

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Zivah Avraham's avatar

I understand this only too well! 😬

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Emil Ottoman's avatar

I am nauseated and I do not know why, great job.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Oh shit! Thank you, and sorry! Dream lightly

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Emil Ottoman's avatar

I got my feet on the ground and I don’t go to sleep to dream.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Got your head in the clouds? Not at all what you seem?

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Emil Ottoman's avatar

Let’s not go that far. I’m pretty well what I seem on sight.

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Nick Winney's avatar

yes yes YES

the disturbing creatures scavenging the vestiges of your sanity in exchange for a night of sleep.

the abyssal eyes billowing smoke... thats magnificent.

Loved it!. need to read this again and a few times... but right now the punk is back on stage!

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Thank you, good sir! I’m glad you enjoyed the imagery.

Have fun at the show!

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Edith Bow's avatar

I thought I was in some lovecraftian wormhole. Loved it.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Yay! I’m glad you do, I wrote this in a “secret” library overlooking the Puget Sound. Thank you for hosting these workshops, it’s a blast and I appreciate the time and energy you put behind them!

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Tom Schecter's avatar

Oh shit here we go

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

For what’s essentially a first draft, I’m pretty happy with it, detritus and all.

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Tom Schecter's avatar

As you should be. And I do so enjoy any opportunity to use or read the word Consigliere

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

You can thank Zani for that one. Shit’s haunted.

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Tom Schecter's avatar

Of course I can

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