this reminds me of a prompt that was put out for flash fiction February! I really love the grittiness of your stories, and you've also got some amazing lines in here!
The brochure where the suicide note should have been is the whole story. Every corporate slogan interrupting this man's grief does exactly what his wife did: replaced intimacy with a terms-of-service agreement. By the time he says "I loved you" in past tense to his emergency contact instead of to her, you understand he's been eulogizing the wrong person. The crow choosing aluminum over poisoned tomatoes, the numb ass on cold steel, the rotting tomatoes nobody touches: you build a world where everything organic is dying and everything artificial survives, then you send one man into the machine anyway. Not because he believes in it. Because Beth's question lands like the story's real ending and you refuse to write what comes after. Loved this first layer.
Excellent. The brochure suicide note is exquisitely poignant.
i really did initially think the reference to the 9 story garden was a euphemism for those stacked up ossuary places...like her mind was in the machine but her body was in the graveyaed and he was there, as close to her as he could be....but then all the garden references make it clear its an actual city garden.
love the constant impatience of the crows...death is coming...or its already there.
excellent dystopia. aching sadness. touches of decay everywhere.
this reminds me of a prompt that was put out for flash fiction February! I really love the grittiness of your stories, and you've also got some amazing lines in here!
I really love this!
Thank you! I appreciate the read and the compliment. What's flash fiction February? That sounds like it is right up my alley!
Oh man! I'll send you a dm lol
The brochure where the suicide note should have been is the whole story. Every corporate slogan interrupting this man's grief does exactly what his wife did: replaced intimacy with a terms-of-service agreement. By the time he says "I loved you" in past tense to his emergency contact instead of to her, you understand he's been eulogizing the wrong person. The crow choosing aluminum over poisoned tomatoes, the numb ass on cold steel, the rotting tomatoes nobody touches: you build a world where everything organic is dying and everything artificial survives, then you send one man into the machine anyway. Not because he believes in it. Because Beth's question lands like the story's real ending and you refuse to write what comes after. Loved this first layer.
Damn, bud, seriously, thank you for the close read. Seeing someone pick up my intent like this made my day. I appreciate you!
The next layer will not disappoint.
im here for it!
Goddamn... Jesus Fitz.
Yeah, I was in a mood
Love the gritty texture and grim humor, stoked and a little scared to see the Meta afterlife 😳
Hell yeah! I’m glad it hit for you! I have only the worst in mind…
Excellent. The brochure suicide note is exquisitely poignant.
i really did initially think the reference to the 9 story garden was a euphemism for those stacked up ossuary places...like her mind was in the machine but her body was in the graveyaed and he was there, as close to her as he could be....but then all the garden references make it clear its an actual city garden.
love the constant impatience of the crows...death is coming...or its already there.
excellent dystopia. aching sadness. touches of decay everywhere.
great work Fitzgeraldo my friend 🧡
Oooo, I really adore that interpretation/imagery. I’d dare say that is better
Thank you, my friend, I seriously appreciate the eye you put to this, I’ll be sure to shout you out in my next Bunker Dispatch.
it was an absolute pleasure. you just get better all the time.
Is OmegaPoint taking new patients? I'd like to escape my meatspace. If not, I guess I can start playing with all of the abandoned cars at least.
Kinda makes me think of the song Sometimes Around Midnight, I imagine this dude's emotional level is about the same anyway.
Oh, they for sure are!
I for one are sticking back and becoming King of the Pigeons, and shall rule with an iron fist.
He had to pay for something advertised as "CofFree", what kind of capitalism is this?! Haha. Good stuff! Enjoyed.
It's Next Sunday A.D., I'm sure of it. Thank you! I'm glad you did 😁
La-la-la
WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!!!!
Fuck. Yes. So much visceral, seething rage right underneath everything. And pepto-bismal sky is the color William Gibson wishes he chose.
Damn, thank you man! I appreciate you, but Gibson is on another level. I'm just a clown 😁
Oh for sure, it just felt like an intentional reference and I dug it!
It absolutely was! I’ve got a hardcover of Neuromancer on my desk 😬